I’ve noticed that people don’t tend to react well to real honesty. Most people, myself included, seem to be too sensitive about hearing the true impressions other people have of them. I’m sensitive about it but I want to know what people think just the same.

What upsets me more than anything is when someone is clearly not being honest with me with fear of not being “nice.” My mom used to say, “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.” How can we improve as individuals if people are only ever nice to us? Of course, I am not denying that it can be painful to be told the truth and it often feels like an insult. I am a super sensitive person and my feelings are easily hurt, but when I look back in my life, I am grateful for the honesty people shared with me.

What Sparked this Post?

I was searching for a psychiatrist in my new home, Italy, because I’ve been feeling like the current anti-depressant medication that I am taking is not functioning properly because it makes me feel a bit numb. I reached out to a friend to help me find a psychiatrist here because I still speak only a small amount of Italian and I wanted a reference given that I already spent many of the initial years of my life searching for an adequate psychologist and/or psychiatrist and didn’t want to waste my time sifting through the inevitable abundance of quacks.

The particular psychiatrist that I was introduced to immediately lost my trust by forgetting to call me at the time we arranged for discussing an appointment. I contacted her again the next morning to arrange another time to have a phone call and she responded explaining how busy she is in the morning so the call must be in the afternoon. She didn’t give me a time or tell me whether I should call her or she would call me.

My impression was that this individual is not 1) professional enough for me to trust with my emotional needs or 2) does not prioritize her clients. Therefore, I expressed to her that I had the impression that I was not a priority because she forgot to call me and that I would prefer to find someone else to meet with.

I was willing to give her another chance depending on how she responded to my honesty. Given her response, I will not be giving her another chance. She was immediately defensive and told me that because the issue is evidently so urgent, I should seek care from a facility meant for people with severe cases of depression.

A Note To Psychologists and Psychiatrists

I am obviously not an expert in the professional world of psychology, however, I am an expert of my own feelings and needs. As a person who appreciates her psychologist very much and as a person who has experienced what it is like to interact with incompetent psychologists, I know a thing or two about what is effective and what is not.

Anyone who desires to be a psychologist/psychiatrist, or already is one, should know that the worst thing you can do is tell a potential client over text that he or she needs extreme mental care. I am actually shocked that I had this experience because usually psychologists/psychiatrists I deem “incompetent” are condescending or clearly not passionate about their field of work. The reaction I received from this woman is actually a characteristic that individuals with emotional needs should stay far away from.

Whether I have high standards or not, I find it completely acceptable to expect professionalism from a psychiatrist after explaining that I chose to go in another direction. It is reasonable to expect a psychiatrist to care for people that he or she doesn’t even know. This psychiatrist excused herself for forgetting to call me by saying “I don’t know you, I don’t know your needs.” Isn’t the point of being a psychiatrist to care for people before knowing them so you can help them care for themselves?

In Conclusion

This experience compelled me to put something out there for psychologists, psychiatrists, and individuals suffering from a mental illness. What I want to “put out there” is that psychiatrists/psychologists have a responsibility to act professionally with all people who seek their help even if they don’t know the individual personally. The brain is the least understood organ of the body and doctors who are granted the qualifications to understand and help treat illnesses of the brain should care about other people, even strangers.

I want individuals with mental illness to understand that when it comes to your emotional needs, your expectations are never too high. You know yourself better than anyone else and if a shrink seems like a quack, ditch him or her. It isn’t worth wasting your time with someone who shouldn’t be in the profession.

 

I am curious to know anyone’s thoughts on this post. Like I said, I’m sensitive, but I want to know what other people think of me or my opinion.