I don’t want to live in a world in which I am afraid. Afraid to be myself, afraid to do the things I want to do, afraid to be kind or afraid to be helpful. This world, though, can only be created with my state of mind. Being alive seems to be meaningless to me if I should be afraid to do what inspires me.

It inspires me to do what is right. If I see someone pickpocket another person, I am compelled to stop that person, to at least say something. I pity the people that stand by and do nothing out of fear. Fear of what? Fear of being harmed? For me, the regret and shame of not helping a person in need are more harmful than any weapon or fist.

Our character is a composition of the little things we do. Even the little things I do, I want to do because I enjoy them. If I want to ride my bicycle to work, I am compelled to do so. To get what I want, I’ve learned I have to do what I want. Even if that means riding 3 cm from a passing car. I am more afraid of being on a crashing train while I’m miserably sandwiched between people I don’t know than I am of getting hit by a car with a smile on my face and endorphins running through my veins.

I am determined to stay true to myself. I show that I am happy when I am happy and sad when I am sad. I display anger when I am angry. I don’t have a filter for my emotions because I don’t want to live in a world in which I feel the need to filter how I feel, why should I? I don’t ask for my emotions, they occur when and how they want. We all have emotions, why waste energy on acting if I am not paid to be an actress?

I say what is on my mind because I, like everyone else, have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Why keep all those thoughts to myself? Maybe someone else shares my thoughts, or if they don’t, maybe I could learn what their thoughts are. People who say what they think I want to hear bore me, don’t they bore you, too?

I am disturbed by the people who kiss the ground that those “above them” in the hierarchy walk on. They are people just like me, if they don’t give me a reason to respect them or idol them, I won’t and I don’t care what kind of logistical drama that might cause. Our species created these “hierarchical rules” when the world needed this type of social structure, I’d like to think we’ve evolved in such a way that “horizontal rules” work even better.

I don’t have many years of experience, yet, but I have already lived too many years trying to please everyone I cross paths with. I have seen dark places and joyful places. What I fear more than the dark places I have been to is living in a world that I don’t want to live in. I fear the possibility of trapping myself in a life that doesn’t make me happy because, in the end, it would have been my choice to stay there. We, humans, are capable of so much, anything I put my mind to I can achieve. I believed that when I was a child, I still believe it now, and I plan to keep believing it.