I had a good cry today, what about you? I drank a glass (or more) of wine each night of the week. I felt as though I was suffering today and it has been the same for the past 7 months. There’s a small blanket of sadness covering the world. No, it doesn’t help to hear “It is going to be OK”. I know that. No, it doesn’t help to hear “Try to be positive”. I am. We are all doing the best we can and none of us want to hear these clichè phrases for getting through difficult times. What we want to hear is, “It is OK not to be OK” (courtesy of the song by Marshmello and Demi Lovato).

The Beauty of Covid

How can the Covid period be viewed as beautiful by anyone? It has caused, and continues to cause, so much suffering and so must distress on a global level. That, my friend, is what makes it beautiful. At a global scale we are suffering, and the culprit is the same. This is certainly the first time in our lifetimes that we are globally unified in the suffering we feel. It is a beautiful thing: to feel something that someone else, many others, are also feeling. Whether you are the socialite suffering because he can’t go out to be the life of the party. The person who is ill with Covid who can’t see his family. The small business owner who lost her business. The athlete torn from her passion. The artist who lost his inspiration. It doesn’t matter how wealthy you are or poor you are. Doesn’t matter what resources you do or don’t have. It doesn’t even matter where in the world you are. We are all suffering because of the coronavirus pandemic.

It may not be easy to see the relationship between the different types of suffering that people are experiencing during this period. Some suffering might seem more severe than others, more real. However, at the end of the day all suffering is worthy. All pain is significant. Now is not the time to tell someone, “well at least you didn’t lose everything”. Now is the time to say, “Life is hard right now, it sucks, I know”. How can we get there, though? Why is it that the first instinct is to blindly attempt to “comfort” others by shoveling positivity into their mouths?

Suffering is Just as Beautiful as Happiness

We need to get out of this mentality that we are more beautiful when we are happy. Yeah, we know it is much nicer to see someone smiling than it is to see someone crying. Smiling is not the only indication of strength, though. In fact, it takes a great deal of strength to be willing to cry in public, to frown, to be upset in front of strangers. When you slap a smile on, you get to avoid the weird looks and comments. You don’t have to worry about being judged when there is a smile on your face. On the contrary, when you walk out the door with tears streaming down your face, that is real strength in my humble opinion . Doing this shows that you are strong enough to be your true self. You are ready to take on the condescending and unsolicited advice of, “you’re so much more beautiful when you’re happy, don’t cry, smile”.

People tell others to smile and look happy because it makes them feel more comfortable. Because seeing someone sad, causes them pain, too. If you aren’t a sociopath or psychopath, you do feel at least some level of empathy. Therefore, it is easier for us to see someone who is happy, even when we are miserable, because at least they don’t mirror our own sadness. So let’s be empathetic right now. Let’s allow this period of Covid teach us how to wallow in our shared misery together. Let’s learn to see the beauty in sadness and the strength in being real about not being OK. What we need right now, more than anything, is to still be seen as beautiful while we are suffering.